6^th June, 2003

Dear Diary,

I’m so tired of acting brave & strong. Mom saw me off yesterday evening & seeing tears in her eyes, I had to crush the urge to bawl openly coz my weeping would have distressed mom all the more. So I put a brave face & consoled her instead. After all it’s only a matter of 45 days. FORTY-FIVE DAYS! Will I be able to survive in this new school that long? FORTY-FIVE DAYS! My eyes sting at the thought of mom’s embrace. I love the fragrance that she exudes when I hug her. I love hugging mom!

7^th June 2003

Dear Diary,

Everyone’s kind to me here at the boarding. The weather is a bit cooler than Bombay. There are birds perched on the branch of the tree outside the window closest to my bed that I have never seen before. I’m fighting hard to not cry. Did not eat the bun they gave me for breakfast. Have never ever eaten one before & yes…they expect me to eat apples…can you believe it? Just like how the monkeys eat them…biting straight into the fruit! My mama gives me all the fruits in a milk shake or juice. FORTY-FOUR days more to go. Can’t wait to see mum. I miss her sooooo very much!

10^th June 2003

Dear Diary,

I have made a few friends here now. Nikita, April, Sanjana, Alka, Blanche, Sakshi & Silvin. I have managed to solve my “bun” problem too. Silvin eats anything I give her. She’s forever hungry. I miss mum in the night. FORTY more days to go before I meet her.

14^th June 2003

Dear Diary,

I’m sure you missed me. Was down with a bad bout of cold & fever. You see, we were wandering in the rain & with the chill here, Sakshi & me, both called sick. Silvin wanted to show us how to catch frogs. Ugghs! I wonder what kind of girl Silvin is….catching frogs! Wonder who will marry her when she grows up.

You know, I missed mum so much when I was down with fever. Though she generally doesn’t pamper, I love the way she hovers around me when I’m sick. Such attention! I love getting sick back home. I like it here since I get to play with so many kids here. Little girlie’s fight a lot too.

18^th June 2003

Dear Diary,

I hate Sr Sangeeta. She’s a beast & we all call her sangu! She’s in charge of the infirmary. She yelled at me when I wouldn’t take the bitter medicines. She force fed me & asked me not to be a sissy! She’s cruel & I hate her with the bottom of my heart! My mum would have never allowed anyone to be rude to me. I miss her….THIRTY-TWO days more to go….

23^rd June 2003

Dear Diary,

I have been a bit naughty today. Alka, Silvin & me slipped out after supper this evening to watch the fireflies. They were there everywhere. In the flowerbeds, the bushes, the trees, the grass…twinkle…twinkle all the way! We plan to look for an empty bottle & catch a few of them. Just like how we are our mama’s pet…they can be our pets! Yahooo…

26^th June 2003

Dear Diary,

Can you imagine…it took two days for us to sneak into the junior dorm kitchen & look for the empty spice bottles. Silvin’s bottle is HUGE compared to my chotu bottle. We plan to slink away in the evening, before study hour & hope to catch a few fireflies. Can’t wait for the sun to go down. Err…Diary…what would mum say if she knew what I was upto?

30^th June 2003

Oh Diary!

Sorry…sorry…sorry for not writing to you earlier. You see... I have been very busy ever since Appu’s presence. I can feel your head creasing wondering who the hell is Appu? Well…he’s my little cutie pie firefly. I call him Appu coz he’s the chubbiest amongst all the fireflies we caught between Alka, Silveen & me. My bottle being small can accommodate only Appu. Have placed some leaves & a pinch of mud so that he doesn’t feel lonely when I go to attend my classes.

2^nd July 2003

Dear Diary,

Appu is sure a handful! I hope you do not resent him for keeping me away from you. Can you believe it…he made me forget mum! Well…such is life! We forget our mums when we become mums ourselves. Appu is great fun& I secretly carry him wherever I go these days.

4^th July 2003

Dear Diary,

Have been crying since morning today. My stomach feels knotted & food looks repulsive! Appu is dead! Saw him lying limp in the bottle & no amount of dabbing him in water could revive him. I wanna go home…I miss my mum!

7^th July 2003

Dear Diary,

Did you know I could act? No?  Well...Neither did I. Yesterday Sr Teresa forced me to take the part of Joseph, Jesus’ dad. I wanted to play Mary in my heart but sister said she wanted a fair skinned girl & also that Mary could not be taller than Joseph. So Joseph it is! Though the fun part is Jesus calling me dad & I get to discipline the one before who the entire world bows.

12^th July 2003

Dear Diary,

I’m so tired juggling drama practice & daily lessons. I sleep off during the study hour in the morning. And yes…I had a fight with Silvine today. She expects to eat my bun every morning. Not fair…is it? A child needs to eat her bun every once in a while!

16^th July 2003

Dear Diary,

Our drama costumes are ready. Sometimes I wonder if I could swap my part with one of the three kings. It just doesn’t seem to be fair. I’m Jesus’ father & they get to wear the good clothes & crown. Next week…mum, nanu & nani will be here to see me….yipeee! I’m so happy!

20^th July 2003

I’m so tired but needed to tell you about our big day today. All the parents came to see us kids perform & after that they could take us out on our weekend exit*. My eyes were at the gate since morning awaiting mum. All the mummies & daddies stood at the gate eagerly to be let in.

I was sad coz my mum was nowhere around. It was then that Alka came running with the news that mum was actually the first to arrive & the lady wearing the blue saree at the gate was in fact my mum. Oh dear! How on earth does mum expect me to recognise her in a silly saree. She looks better in pants.

Anyways…mum was so proud of me. She clapped the loudest & I’m snuggled with her in bed writing to you. She promised not to peep. After all what we share is OUR secret…right?